I’m sorry ❤

The apology of a Special Needs mom:

To you,

My friend, or family member, or spouse, or child…..

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for the way I have suddenly become unreliable- at simply no choice of my own.

The way in which our house that once was, is no longer always a welcoming home.

I'm sorry that I cancel plans last minute and at the slightest sign of her struggle.

To stay home in my pjs and hold her and watch him and just snuggle.

I'm sorry that I virtually never show up, even on the days that I desperately want to.

I wish it was like it used to be, and my absence often hurts me too.

I'm sorry for all the celebrating I miss out on- the showers, and parties, and plans.

If I could be there I would, but instead, I'll be holding his hand.

I'm sorry for the times he is struggling. When plans change at the drop of a hat.

I'm sorry for the nights that there is no option- because a babysitter- what is that?

I'm sorry that now life is different and we always run on his time.

My schedule revolves around him and the health of his little mind.

So, friend, I'm sorry I missed you.

I hope I can see you someday.

Just know that my love for you is unchanged through this journey that keeps me away.

So if I could ask one thing of you, it would be that you give us your grace.

Grace for the moments we miss out, and the times we do life at our own pace.

Grace for the days gone by when we've been unable to come around.

Grace for our cancellations and the times that we let you down.

Grace for all the commitments we will make but inevitably break.

Grace for the ways that our change of life often makes our own hearts ache.

So now that you know of our reason,

that this season of life is too much.

Would you still send us an invitation or a note, or at least keep in touch?

Because though our lives are now different, there is one thing that remains the same-

The way in which we still need you as we walk out this journey of pain.

– L

The full text of this writing can be viewed at https://www.gracefilledgrowth.com/

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